If you’ve ever watched your teen scroll mindlessly through their phone and thought, “I wish they could find something that truly lights them up…” — I get it. I know parents lay awake at night wondering if their kid will ever discover their ‘thing’.
The truth? Purpose isn’t found—it’s built—and there’s a simple way you can help them start.
We often think purpose has to be grand—like curing diseases or winning Oscars. But purpose lives in the small stuff:
- What makes them lose track of time?
- What pisses them off about the world? (Yes, anger can be a compass!)
- Where do they naturally help others?
- Last week, a teen told me “I just like organizing my friend’s playlists”.
Guess what? That’s purpose and it could lead to music therapy, event planning, even UX design!
Purpose grows through action. Try this tiny but powerful experiment. Have your teen or young adult
- Spend 5 minutes researching a cause they care about – AI can help and if they don’t have a basic AI certification, now’s the time to sign up for a free one online and add it to their resume.
- Text someone who works in that field. Find them on LinkedIn and choose a younger professional
- Do one micro-act of service. For instance, the guys who founded “Got Junk” got the idea for their successful Franchise chain by dropping off items at Good Will.
Purpose isn’t just what they do—it’s who they help.
One of my clients discovered her love for teaching by helping her brother with his homework
Ask them, “What are you weirdly good at?” (Even if it’s memes or arguing!)
Ask “Who could benefit from that skill?”
A teen who games nonstop could stream for kids’ hospitals. One who loves debate could coach shy students. It’s about connecting dots—not finding a unicorn career.
But What If You Think Your Teen Doesn’t Care About Anything?
I hear this all the time. First, it’s usually not true. That apathy is often just overwhelm or fear of failing. Here’s how to break through:
- Notice what pisses them off—social injustice, bad design, dumb policies? Anger = hidden care.
- Ask: {If you had to care about something for just 5 minutes, what would it be?” Shockingly effective!
- Have them try on a friend’s passion for a week. (One mom’s son discovered coding this way!)
Purpose evolves. It’s not set in stone. What lights them up at 18 might shift at 25—and that’s beautiful! Just because they choose to be a paralegal at 18 doesn’t mean they won’t become an operations manager or write a bestselling legal novel at 25. Purpose, like live, evolves over time.
Your teen doesn’t need to have it all figured out. They just need to know their next step.
Want some help? I’m a career coach for teens and young adults. Sign up for a FREE Consultation.
